I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
