Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
