I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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