you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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