ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
