Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
