we should wear snuggies to the strip club
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
