saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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