he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
