I wannas sexs uuuuu
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
