Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
