Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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