What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
