i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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