don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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