You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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