Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
