I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize