you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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