Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
