She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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