I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
