Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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