I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
