my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
