Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
