I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
