giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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