omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
