omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
