Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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