I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
