if you like me you must not know who I am
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
