Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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