he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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