Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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