yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
