Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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