i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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