Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
