found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
