remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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