Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
