So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize