I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
