I wanna bring you to show and tell
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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