I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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