Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
