Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Two words: blizzard sex
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
