The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
