my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
