The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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