Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
