He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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