That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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