I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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